Middle-class Indian parents see three career options for their children: doctor, lawyer, or failure. So, it was clear to my brothers and me where our career paths were headed.
Ironically (because I am now an author as well), a book brought me to medicine: Of Human Bondage by Somerset Maugham. The medical element in the book is minor, but there’s a moment when the protagonist, Philip, finds that he can’t make it as an artist in Paris. He’s an orphan, but his parents left him money to pursue professional studies. He decides to return to London and study to become a physician. When he finally arrives on the wards, Maugham writes, “Philip saw humanity there in the rough, the artist’s canvas, and he said to himself, ‘This is something I can be good at.’â€
That sentence made me feel that, while not everyone could be a math whiz or a brilliant artist, anyone with a curiosity about the human condition and a willingness to work hard could be a good physician. I still agree that it requires those two qualities, and I had both.
I began my medical training in Ethiopia, in one of four or five then-new schools established by the British Council throughout Africa. It was a wonderful education, because our professors had just retired from eminent positions in England and had come to complete a year of service. However, during my third year, the Ethiopian emperor was deposed and a brutal military regime took over. One of the first things they did was close the university and send all students to the countryside to educate the masses.
Did you remain in Ethiopia after the coup?
My parents had seen the writing on the wall. By the time the university closed, they had already moved to New Jersey. When I joined them 2 years later, they were teaching. They had each earned postgraduate degrees – a master’s in education for my mother and a master’s in nuclear physics for my father.
Were you able to start medical school in the U.S.?
The medical education process in Ethiopia is different from that in the U.S.; instead of getting an undergraduate degree, I went straight from high school to medical school. When I got to the U.S., I was stuck, – unable to enter medical school there and unable to complete my medical training in Ethiopia. While I contemplated my next step, I worked as an orderly, first in a nursing home and then in a hospital. Eventually, through the great efforts of one of my aunts, the Indian government took me in as a displaced person in 1974, and I was able to resume my medical schooling in Madras. The Indian training system was similar to Ethiopia’s – based on the British system – so I was able to earn my medical degree and complete my internship there. I returned to the U.S. in 1980 to begin my residency.
How did your experiences as an orderly shape your career?
Looking back, that was the best medical education I could have had, because I saw what happened to the patient in the 23 hours and 58 minutes the doctors were not in the room.
I also attribute that experience to my great appreciation for my colleagues in nursing, because they are spending the most time taking care of patients. I feel a sense of solidarity with nursing staff. To this day, when I round, I try to check in with the nurse because that is who the patient “belongs to†in my mind.
Working in the nursing home was truly an eye-opening experience. It was quite a shock to see the warehousing of the elderly happening there. I was responsible for 5 or 6 patients who were completely bedridden. My job was to get them cleaned up and fed in the morning, then take them to the recreation room where they would sit in front of the television all day. At the end of the day I’d reverse the process. I thought it was very sad, very discouraging.
The humanity of medicine later became a focus of your career. Did witnessing the care in the nursing home spark that interest?
It was part of it, but the other big moment for me was the arrival of HIV in the early 1980s. Prior to that, I was caught up in what I call the “conceit of cure†– the idea that doctors could fix anything. If you made an astute diagnosis, you could have a patient rise like Lazarus and walk out of the hospital. When the HIV/AIDS epidemic hit, it was ironic that such a fatal illness should land on the laps of people like me, who were caught up in this delusion. HIV humbled me, because I was watching young men my age succumb to a fatal disease for which we had absolutely no treatment.
An entire generation of infectious disease clinicians were humbled by this disease. We learned what it meant to heal when we could not cure. We realized how much our presence and caring mattered. A cure wasn’t within our reach, but we were making a profound difference by indicating to the patient that we would be there, that we were not running away.
Witnessing the devastation of HIV also was the genesis of my becoming a writer. After training in infectious diseases in Boston, where I saw so many HIV cases, I took a faculty position at a hospital and medical school in a small town in Tennessee in 1985. We expected to see, at most, a couple patients with HIV every other year. Instead, in a fairly short time, I encountered almost 100-fold more patients with HIV than anyone predicted for that rural population.
I wanted to tell that story, which, as it turned out, was the story of young men who had left that small town to pursue education or better opportunities, but also because they were gay and did not want their lifestyle to be evident to their friends and relatives. Years later, the virus had found them, and they were trying to come back to their hometown roots, either because their lovers had died and they had no one to care for them, or because they hoped that, by retreating to a small town, they would escape the plague that had decimated bigger cities.
I wrote a scientific paper about that phenomenon of migration, but my sense was that a scientific paper could not begin to capture the tragedy of the men’s voyages or the heartache of their families – and it could not captured my own grief, having watched it happen again and again.